Welcome to the Self-Love Club where we make ourselves avocado toast, repost memes and binge watch Friends on Netflix. Where we indulge ourselves with the latest trends and the newest arrivals from our favourite stores. We scour these online aisles, adding to our carts while whispering ‘treat yoself girl’ every time we add something to our carts. Our generation is one that uses technology and the vast information readily available to our advantage. Due to this we become more equipped with certain topics that we research. This can cause some problems though, take self-love or self-care for example. Self-love is the act of loving oneself wholly, flaws and insecurities included but now it’s become a consumerized franchise for us to buy for our individual lives.
People won’t like you and that’s okay because you won’t like them either.
This might sound completely cynical, which it is, and also very negative, which it might be, but nobody really cares. We live in a world where we feed off of each others likes, views, comments and follows as a form of validation. Like a little checkmark from our “friends” saying, yes that’s a good picture or yes I see you’re hanging out without me and it doesn’t make me feel left out at all. (Too petty? Perhaps. I’ll tell you when I’m over it. JK 🙂
Calling someone beautiful and pretty or cute or whatever, is nice. It feels good to have someone compliment you or think that you look beautiful. But there’s a certain point in time where those compliments mean nothing. It’s because these compliments are empty.
I am a firm believer in people being beautiful to someone. Everyone is beautiful, therefore anyone can come up to you and tell you that you’re pretty. But what else?
What else am I besides pretty/cute/beautiful/gorgeous/whatever synonym that comes up online when you search for an alternative way of saying pretty?
This might be an unpopular opinion but so what if you think I’m pretty? I know physical attraction is important, but it’ll only last so long. There are a lot of people who still want to be called beautiful and pretty, and that feeling will always feel nice if it’s genuine.
Wouldn’t you rather want someone to think you’re beautiful out of the blue, than just stating it every few messages they send you? Yes you’re pretty, you are beautiful, but there’s so much more to you than just a mediocre compliment.
A lot of people have told me to just take the compliment and say thank you, which is what I do. But honestly, I don’t have to say thank you. A lot of people, just like me, have struggled with their self-image and trying to figure out if they are comfortable with the way they look. It has taken them a lot to understand that being pretty means so little in the grand scheme of things. It takes so much in and out of someone to understand that yes I am beautiful because I am so much more than that.
If you let people’s compliments build your self-esteem then it will easily fall apart in the blink of an eye. But if you build it yourself, it might take years, but if you go through with it and realize that you are not perfect, that you don’t have to be. So build yourself, find yourself, and become someone that you want to be. Change for yourself, not for anyone else. Know that you are beautiful, and also so much more than that.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t fall in love with people or let yourself believe that they love you just because they give you a little bit of attention. Remember that anyone can tell you that you’re beautiful and that’s not hard to do. It’s not hard simply because you are beautiful, it’s not hard stating the obvious. It’s like basing your entire everyday conversations with stating what colour the sky is today and what the weather is like. Everyone can see that it’s sunny, that there are clouds, that there are raindrops outside, and also that you’re beautiful.
I’m not saying to not fall in love, just to be careful. Because not everyone you give your heart to will know what to do with it. So take your heart and give it someone who can tell you you’re more than just pretty.
I hope you liked this, it took a lot of thoughts to compile and filter out for this blog post. There will be more coming due to the fact that I’ve organized my thoughts. Till next time.
Have you ever felt the need to dress up when you’re going to meet your friends? Have you ever felt nervous meeting your friend but you shouldn’t because they’re, well, you’re friend? This might be just my own mind overthinking things, but I can’t help but feel that way. I know I shouldn’t but that doesn’t stop the sweaty palms and queasy stomach.
I’ve observed this about myself for quite some time now; I can’t keep friends. Self-depriciating aside, I’m just not the type of person that will have a million friends. In the beginning I thought, maybe it’s something that I’m doing wrong, so I kept apologizing. For things I did or didn’t do, for feeling something, everything or nothing at all.
You know the saying, “No man is an island” ? In most of life that’s true. You need to have other people in your life in order for you to be able to cope with all the different emotions inside you. It’s absolutely crucial to be able to have people to talk to about your troubles and you accomplishments. People need people. That’s just the way we are.
Humans need interaction with others so that we don’t completely lose our marbles. However, being alone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re lonely. Yes, we all need someone to hug or laugh with at times, but not ALL the time.
I’ve found that most people, including myself, are in constant need of companionship. Perhaps, this is why people get so bummed out if they are single or none of their friends are free to hang out. Despite this, we are completely capable of doing things on our own. I know it sounds odd, but most people (again including me) feel this uneasy feeling about being left alone.
But we shouldn’t.